Archives for Managing Emotions
Using Reappraisal to Manage Your Conflict Emotions
Helping Managers Master Their Hot Buttons
Managers are susceptible to getting upset in conflict situations just like everyone else. In other words, managers can have their hot buttons pushed. When their hot buttons are triggered by an event or by someone else’s behaviors, they become more prone to acting out in counterproductive ways. If they respond destructively, it can prolong conflicts. Research from the Center also suggests that such responses can cause them to be viewed less favorably by their bosses. It is important for managers to understand their hot button profiles in order to become more aware of what triggers them in the first place.… Continue Reading Helping Managers Master Their Hot Buttons
What’s the difference between Empathy and Sympathy, and why has Sympathy got such a bad name?
Have you ever wondered about the difference between empathy and sympathy? And if you have, why sympathy has got such a bad name? I addressed these very questions in the recent pilot of my online course that focused on Challenging Workplace Relationships, but was prompted to write this after watching a short online video narrated by Dr. Brené Brown. In the video Dr. Brown says that empathy fuels connection and sympathy drives disconnection. To empathize, she says, we must “internalize the feelings of another.” In the examples she gives she suggests that we sympathize when we avoid acknowledging others difficult… Continue Reading What’s the difference between Empathy and Sympathy, and why has Sympathy got such a bad name?
Book Review: Hold on to Yourself Through Tough Conversations
The Center was fortunate to get an early look at Julia Menard and Judy Zehr’s new book, Hold on to Yourself Through Tough Conversations, which comes out in early February from Balboa Press. It is a wonderful new offering that helps explain and provide pathways for addressing the emotional challenges we all face in conflict settings. The book draws from a multitude of rich and diverse sources including Jon Kabat Zinn (mindfulness), Laurel Mellin (emotional brain training), Daniel Goleman (emotional intelligence), Daniel Siegel (interpersonal biology), John Gottman (couples communications), Marshall Rosenberg (nonviolent communications), and others. It provides an in-depth but… Continue Reading Book Review: Hold on to Yourself Through Tough Conversations
What are your hot buttons?
The Value of Civility in Conflict
There are remarkable parallels between the costs of poorly managed conflict and incivility in the workplace. Dan Dana’s Measure of Financial Cost of Organizational Conflict instrument and Porath and Pearson’s book , The Cost of Bad Behavior: How Incivility Is Damaging Your Business and What to Do About It, outline a wide range of costs associated with conflict and incivility. Many of them overlap, such as: Absenteeism Wasted time worrying about the issue Avoiding the other person Turnover Lower motivation Both poorly managed conflict and incivility promote poor corporate citizenship behavior. People begin to act badly towards one another and… Continue Reading The Value of Civility in Conflict
Conflict and Resilience
When we ask people to describe conflict, they often use terms like stress or frustration. It is clear that conflict is trying for many people. Conflict often leads to negative emotions which themselves can contribute to stress. They also make it more difficult to use constructive responses to conflict. The model underlying the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) also encourages people to engage rather than avoid conflict. The CDP puts a lot of emphasis on the emotional elements of conflict. It measures hot buttons – behaviors in others that cause us to become upset. The CDP also looks at ways that… Continue Reading Conflict and Resilience
Conflict, Emotions, and Resilience
Tips for Maintaining Patience During Conflict
The dictionary defines patience as “the state of bearing pain or trials without complaint; showing self-control; calm.” In times of conflict or negotiation, exhibiting patience can have a powerful impact on the outcome. Many conflicts start because of unfulfilled needs in the areas of control, recognition, affection, or respect. It is common for people to react quickly and fiercely when faced with circumstances that seem to threaten these basic human needs. Patience, though, often involves “not reacting,” at least not immediately, to an uncomfortable situation. Giving yourself (and others) a little time during the process can greatly enhance the possibility… Continue Reading Tips for Maintaining Patience During Conflict