Terry Marschall – Senior Principal Trainer – Mediation Training Institute at Eckerd College
I was drawn to conflict work years ago as a senior executive with a Fortune 500 company. At that time, I knew that most of the issues with our employees stemmed from unhealthy relationships, poor communication and unresolved conflict. I “fell” into HR because of a strong desire to help our teams and team members perform better. Since I am driven to improve processes that produce better outcomes, mediation is a perfect fit!
As a mediation process leader, I closely follow the five steps of the mediation process:
- Decide to mediate
- Hold preliminary meetings to prepare the parties
- Plan the context and protect the meeting
- Host the mediation
- Follow up and support the agreement
Even though I fully believe in the 5-step process, I was never comfortable with Step 2: preparing the parties to participate in the mediation. Although I could effectively help them define the problem to be solved, hear their story and explain the process they would be going through, I realized that these preliminary actions did little to put them in touch with what was really going on from an emotional perspective..
As a mediator, it is helpful to “see under the hood.” In other words, while it is not our role to make the decisions on how the conflict is resolved, it is our responsibility to guide the participants to examine what needs to be resolved for them to continue in the process.
I began using the Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) several years ago, and it has dramatically enhanced the way I prepare the parties (step 2) for mediation. The CDP helps my clients understand how their own behavior and responses to conflict can help or hinder the conflict’s resolution.
The CDP allows the mediator to “provide the opportunity for the parties to define and clarify issues, understand different perspectives, identify interests, explore and assess possible solutions and reach mutually satisfactory agreements, when desired.” [1]
The CDP also helps participants grapple with the fact that there are two sides to the story and to own their part of that story. The human experience of conflict is filled with complex emotions, and helping participants learn to manage those emotions helps create better dialogue in the mediation meeting.
When employing the CDP as part of the preparation process, I usually start with the participant’s Hot Buttons – the people and situations that irritate the person enough to produce destructive responses in their behavior.
Starting with the Hot Buttons helps people identify the specific behaviors that create the strong negative emotions in them. It creates common language to describe the behaviors of both participants, as they both go through the same process. This common language is much more effective than the vague or highly-charged language that takes place in the confrontation stage of mediation. It also has the added benefit of diffusing any personal attacks by describing the specific (and changeable) behaviors that the person finds intolerable.
In highly entrenched conflicts I may even have the participants fill out their own CDP, and then take a second CDP as if they were the other person with whom they are in conflict. Seeing how they look from the other person’s perspective not only illuminates specific behaviors that might be problematic, but it also creates rich dialogue when the two parties meet.
In team mediations, I have used the CDP to help entrenched teams see the big picture on how their individual behaviors (destructive or constructive) may be affecting the larger group. Again, having common language for labeling conflict behaviors is extremely helpful. It’s like “name that tune.” It’s also imperative that team leaders use constructive communication behaviors to model the right way to interact.
The team report helps you to identify possible strengths and weaknesses in behaviors that the team leader exhibits which can affect the entire team. As a CDP practitioner, you can quickly request a team report to identify common behaviors that may be escalating or prolonging conflict. The common language and debrief as a group allow for safety in discussions without fear of retaliation.
I also have had the opportunity to include the CDP in the curriculum of the Mediation Training Institute’s (MTI) Certified Mediator Training (CMT) and Certified Trainer (CT) program. Both of these programs can be transformative and provide a unique niche for you in your own conflict work. I encourage you to explore these opportunities.
[1] The Model Standards of Conduct for Mediators, September 2005. American Arbitration Association (adopted September 8. 2005), American Bar Association (approved by the ABA House of Delegates, August 9,2005), Association for Conflict Resolution (adopted August 22, 2005).